Space under the Showerhead

There is a sweet spot underneath the shower head where the water runs down your back and you can breathe deeply. Mind you, this is a risky move. Water can run up your nose at any moment (ugh that is the worst. It brings you back to the sixth grade pool party when the boys dunk you under water. They are flirting, but what they don't realize is that you now have snot coming out and you are gasping for air. Not so cute.) sooo it is really important to find the sweet spot. 

In my moments of complete overwhelm or flood of emotion, I find this space under the shower and take deep breaths and feel the water flood down my scalp and ears and back. But never once does the water disrupt my breathing. I like how the water shuts out other sounds and mutes the internal dialogue in my little, tired brain.

I can repeat truth to myself in the moments. Pray. Rest. Be.

(note: my dad and all of my coaches will be disappointed that I did not use a basketball reference when referencing "sweet spot". So, for the sake of my inner athlete, it can also be related to finding your sweet spot with your shot. you find your rhythm. swish. swish. swish. and you don't even second guess your form. the sweet spot under the shower has the same feeling of just tuning out and narrowing into the rhythm of your shot.)

There is a sweet spot to community too. Surrounded by 20 women at my sister's bridal shower (eeek! My baby sis is getting married. Cheesy smile all around. Through the confetti. All of it.), I was reminded of the sweet spot that is breathing in community.  

These women helped raise me. These moms walked through life with me from before I was born through today.  Holidays, beach days, sports games, camping trips, bible studies. This girl knows the sweet spot of community, or at least the fruit of her mom's community. It lets you blossom and breathe freely. It lets you come home and be known. 

In Kansas City, I am finding sweet spots of community. It doesn't have the strength and fortitude of 28+ years of stability to it...yet. It is still creating mileage. It's a little more tender and touchy and young. I am still learning how to sacrifice for others. how to breathe in deeply and be free in it. how to find my rhythm. But the freshness to new communities is sweet in its own right. 

My community of women and I are still learning how to listen. love. forgive. walk together well. 

I asked my mom (she is practically a queen of women's ministry. Especially leading and mentoring young moms. Could she be any cuter?!) about her experience. We talked about group dynamics and safe spaces and what listening looks like and how at 57, it's still messy.

a pic of my cute mom to validate my point above...

But messy isn't bad, it just is. Pursuing people despite the mess is a glimpse of how God pursues us- He sees our mess and He scoops us up. And I want that. 

Glancing at the patio full of women who walked beside my mom (and my sister and I) for the past 28 years is a reminder of God's goodness and gifts to us. Even when it is hard, He gives us opportunities to love each other well and to be loved well. 

Someday, I pray that I have the privilege of laughing and reminiscing and celebrating and crying happy tears at the future bridal showers of our born and unborn children. I will marvel at the years He gave us to be friends. The trials we walked through together. And the sweet spot of community. 

breathe it in