"It's Not Fair"

I can remember using the phrase "it's not fair" so many times in my childhood. Especially in the middle school days. Ahh...middle schoolers! what isn't fair...that children go through the awkward middle school phase- see below

Photo: 8th grade promotion dance- all of our finest moments. Also, I still have that dress and wear it. #lifewin

On a more serious note than the fairness of middle-school awkwardness, I was reminded of my desire for justice and for fairness (for both small and large issues) in a recent sermon that touched on the verse "If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also" (Matthew 5:39). It was so beautiful to be reminded of how much grace we receive from God and therefore how much grace we can extend to others, even when it is not fair. hear the sermon here

Some struggle with not portioning out what they consider to be "just retaliation" more than others do. My husband is one who would admit to struggling with giving grace when it is undeserved.

When I asked his permission to mention this struggle, he said, "yes, but i will retaliate later for it." Gotta love his humor. :)

There have been moments...let's just say hypothetically ;)...where I complain- loudly- about briefcases, shoes, dirty workout clothes being in random places throughout the house (you must be thinking about how lovely I am to live with. yes, thank you. it is lovely to live with me). Grant's reaction is to immediately shut down and give me the silent treatment for an indefinite amount of time (which he just told me is the reaction of a two year old. see, at least we know we are ridiculous human beings).

We can go on for days about why my reaction is not great, but for the sake of staying on topic, we can focus on how we punish people when we are mad/hurt/upset. Even those we love. Especially those we love.

While silent treatment isn't necessarily my go to and retaliation isn't really my biggest struggle, I can feel the damage of it and see the ways that I feel just in responding in a similarly punishing manner.

What a great reminder that even when we are wronged or feel wronged, we can (should) act out of love. It is freeing to know that we are not the ultimate Judge and how dare I, someone just as messed up as the next person, determine what is fair and just. I don't mean to say that we should overlook injustice. In fact, we are called to work towards justice. I am referring to all of the everyday moments that we feel wronged and then consciously or subconsciously determine the "punishment".

When was the last time you gave someone the cold shoulder?
When was the last time you did the opposite of what your husband/wife/friend/coworker asked of you just to "really show them who is in control"?
When was the last time you stewed over your frustration for months without forgiving?

There are endless examples of how we feel entitled to "teach them a lesson".

But friends, this is so the opposite of grace. Where can I, you, we, see areas of our life where we don't need to hold that grudge because we are free to give grace freely and love extremely? Where can we walk the extra mile even when we were unjustly caused to walk the first? Where can we, instead of exclaiming "it's not fair" to our parents (bahaha...silly throwback example), remember the grace that God offers us and extend that to others?